Sunday, September 30, 2007

my birthday party

last night i had my birthday party at my friend jeffs. i only expereience about one hour of it. why? because i had like 7 shots of vodka in less than an hour and didnt eat dinner! ahhhhhh my mistake. well, im not sure what went on between my last shot, and waking up in a bed to a bunch of cops and EMS around me... but something tells me it involved the reason why my hair smelled like throw up. so the cops came at 12 and i was lying in the bed and there were like 5 cops and ems and they thought i had to go to the hospital, which i didnt, so i convinced them i didnt with answering these three questions:

COP: do you know your name?
me: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
COP: do you know your name?
me: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....... chelsea!
COP: do you know where you are?
me: 141 kalana way!
COP: do you know what day it is?
me: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
ITS FUCKIN SATURDAY!

and then they were all like "ok!" and left. then i went to sleep or something and woke up with the worst hangover ever!!!
ive been lying in bed all day watching movies on comedy central: malibus most wanted, office space
and trying to eat a pizza i ordered that is too chewy!
tomororw is my birthday!
what will happen this time

Thursday, September 27, 2007

i laughed out loud for like 3 minutes

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p.s.

the picture below for my party invite was taken when i got roofied at a club and was totally unconscious about one minute after, throwing up and blacking out. but i had the suave to pose for a minute.
thats hot

my party saturday!!!

come fools

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Tuesday, September 25, 2007

resorts show

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me on the tambo bitches

whats been going on in my life!

last night i went to the Resorts show @ on stage, which starred nooner, toonz, slosh wang and christ baby. it was fun. i split 2 pitchers with courtney, got a free jager bomb and guest appeared in the show and played the tambourine. i felt like nico! no, i didnt. because my hair isnt blonde. but... after i went to DJ and i was really faded and kept making a bunch of stupid mistakes which was bad! oh well. then today i went to class really exhausted, where we watched Run Lola Run, and then i went to work @ my new job... Nobu! i thought we got free food, and they make lunch everyday for all the employees, but the lunch was actually really nasty and wasn't even nobu food! it was like gross plate lunch hawaaiian kine brah and ho cuz i just like have one scoop of white rice and one salad. then the chef walked in the backroom with a naked, shaved, chicken with its head on and started laughing and the manager was like dancing around it and i thought to myself, "i thought nobu was more of a quiet, japanese zen feeling..." those crazy hawaiian brahdas! then after work i went to my new favorite store, Ben Franklin crafts to buy more supplies! i love arts and crafts now. im going to make some more of my new amazingly underground famous collages, a hello kitty pillowcase with ice cream cone button detailing... and whatever i can use with my new assortment of glitter and stickers!
now im going to go to a pilates class @ the gym. then im going to take like 3 somas, eat soup and watch Pollock!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

just another day @ the pool

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some vids


this is my fave vid from ryan scheckler. i met him @ the surfer poll awards this year and said, "you're my favorite skater. i love you in almost there round three video when you jump off the building" and then he hugged me. now he sold out to mtv and doesnt hang with his lil bro. boo!


david blaine street magic spoof

the sequel

Saturday, September 22, 2007

last night i drank like 20 shots of rum

Last night i got really drunk. i drank like 20 shots of dark rum. it was disgusting. then i ended up naked in a hot tub, then i ended up crying hysterically and beating up my boyfriend. then this morning he broke up with me.

then i looked at my phone at had 20 txt msg's from some producer whos trying to fly me out to vegas. and this is what was said:

msg 1: haven't forgot about you... working out our shoot schedule. ill call you tomrorrow at noon la time. what are you wearing right now...haa....

msg 2: come over now. im booking a flight tomorrow (sat) thru monday. vegas is cheesy and i meed you here to class and sex it up. seriously this place wld be a

msg 3: gold mine for a hot, sassy, sexy and naturally fashionable horny soon to be 20 yr old like yourself. pack you plane leaves at noon.

msg 4: ill bought you a birthday present... im bad at keeping suprises... its an el camino car.. red and it has spray paint tattoo on the side that says... sassy bit

msg 5: ch!

msg 6: ive named it... the car. its name is Juan (nickname: saso). but its your car once you come here and claim it and then you can change the name if you want...

msg 7: seriously... vegas is sexy and sinful but its anticlimatic b/c its all douche bag tourists for the most part so most everything is half assed here... and borin

msg 8: g. come help vegas be cool and live up to its sinful and badass rep. i have a heated pool and tennis courts at my hotel... ha

msg 9: what time is it at pipeline? sorry if im waking you. talk pidgen to me its sexy

msg 10: what are you wearing? im wearing leather chaps and a western shirt with bolo tie and clear heels

msg 11: just kidding im wearing a pair of jeans and all my jail tattoos... im covered from my shoulders down.

msg 12: jail tats are serious buisness. i grew up on the streets breakdancing and boxing. i carried a 9mm handgun (gat) in my waist band to 3rd grade. i reserved

msg 13: to only use it when a kid would talk back and most times pull out a handgun, ak47 or shotgun and shoot at him just barely missing and then laugh at how silly

msg 14: he looked dancing around, dodging bullets with the grace of justin timerlskes dance moves. goodnight.. thats my random imaginary scene for you..take a

msg 15: pic of yourself and email it to me... not for some weird perverted reason but b/c i need art work on the walls of my hotel room. i married a stripped tonight...

msg 16: but we dont get along i think we r gonna get it enulled tomorrow unless i fall for her while gambling at Bellagio tomorrow...byyyyyyeeeee im drunk and bored...

msg 17: i make up half fiction and half factual stories when im bored, drunk, and wanting to see you... i think your 29 instead of 19 tho. u dont look it but you have a

msg 18: confident personality that most people dont even have in their 30s. and you have nice hair and eyes and...

msg 19: wow i just read all the texts i sent.. i get excited someitmes and like to say whatever is at the tip of my tongue. lk being shipped of to iraq on tues... u

msg 20: should come visit tomorrow-mon before i go. its dangerous over there.. but thats how i live. word.




i replied: i dont play tennis

Friday, September 21, 2007

bear hair!

one of drew toonz new cartoons!

check him out www.drewtoonz.tv for more!!! and buy a surf skool dvd!

my new favorite commerical

history lesson

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my name
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christmas tree '06
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shore club during summer '07
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my friend alex and i, when she visited me in hawaii!

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MY NEWLY ENGAGED FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Messing Around

I was at my friend Rutger's house and got really blazed and someone had Im'd him. i decided to mess with her. i play orez0087 and liloldmeeh93 is some girl he's friends with
------------------------------------------------------

LiLoLdMeeH93: hey!
Orez0087: hey!
LiLoLdMeeH93: whats up haven't heard or seen you for a while
Orez0087: ive been busy
Orez0087: what about you girlfren'
LiLoLdMeeH93: school work and dancing thats all.... i sold my truck =(
Orez0087: what you dancing to
LiLoLdMeeH93: well i have been swing dancing.... it is fun....
Orez0087: you really love hobbies
Orez0087: i respect that
LiLoLdMeeH93: you know me gotta keep busy and learn new things....
Orez0087: i can teach you a few things
LiLoLdMeeH93: sure.... like what....
Orez0087: ;-)
LiLoLdMeeH93: hey!!!!! LOL...
Orez0087: tofl
Orez0087: *rofl
LiLoLdMeeH93: i was wondering..... LMAO
Orez0087: LOLOLOLOLLOL
LiLoLdMeeH93: i think i am quite good in that category thank you
Orez0087: MMMMMMMHMMMMMMMM
Orez0087: well
LiLoLdMeeH93: he he he
Orez0087: do you bb
LiLoLdMeeH93: bb?
Orez0087: i thought you knew every catagory
LiLoLdMeeH93: well not abbreviations
Orez0087: you should learn
Orez0087: im out
LiLoLdMeeH93: huh?
Orez0087: 1
LiLoLdMeeH93: stopconfusing me
Orez0087: peace mami
LiLoLdMeeH93: jya~
Orez0087: bye bye
LiLoLdMeeH93: bai bai
LiLoLdMeeH93: what is bb
Orez0087: learn a new thing
LiLoLdMeeH93: so tell me

Roys

Last night, my friend Jeff and his father (who is visiting from Saudi) took my roomate (roxanna) and i out to Roy's Waikiki for dinner.
jeff stumbled on the time of the reservation through several text msg's and finally made me laugh with this one:

jeff's text: SORRY I'm higher than courtney love circa early 2000, 630 pm reservations for sure most def.

It was delicous. Since i was the only one with an ID, me and Jeff's father got wasted off three very nice glasses of Australian Shiraz. then i feasted on yellowtail hamachi sashimi, crab cakes, and chocolate soufle. it was... amazing. then his father went on to tell many stories of his travels all over the world, and had startled the whole table with one in particular.
he had gone to a buddhist temple in hawaii years ago, and asked a master "where am i going in life" from which the master replied "you have to know where you began" and gave him directions to a monestary in thailand for the answer. jeff's father traveled to thailand shortly after in search of this master, and found him after looking all over and had a long conversation and discovered that the master had been his father in a past life! then, he said he'd be back and jeff's father went to have lunch, and went looking for his new master-daddy and then was told by all of the monks this particular master died over ten years ago!
i wonder who my cat, tom, was in a past life:
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i think this picture might give me an idea...

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

leave britney alone!

They tried to make me drink rehab, i said yes yes yes!

I was just doing my homework in between classes and decided to drink this can of Rehab i've had stashed in my refridgerator for over a week. At first, it didn't taste amazing, and Red Bull was still better in my mind, and i went on to doing my homework. Before i could realize i was almost done with the can, i was more alert than when i had taken adderall to study for my high school midterms!
Rehab is awesome!


quick fire of a quick fix for those exhausted students!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

sex and the city is funny

Samantha: "Lesbian...it's just a label...like Gucci or Versace"
Carrie: "Or Birkenstock"