Thursday, July 23, 2009

chicken mcnuggets

why are chicken mcnuggets from mcdonalds so good? i ask myself that question from time to time. i want some so bad. that would require putting on shoes, holding keys in my hand and putting them in my pocket along with some money, walking down three flights of stairs and then walking a block. then i have to stand in line and order. is it worth it

Friday, September 19, 2008

my new phone decal

i got a new phone. its the blackberry curve. my other phone had fallen in a puddle. let me just say, the blackberry is really an addictive thing. ive heard it ruins relationships and causes divorces. i could see how that happens. a study took place and they asked if you had to get rid of your blackberry or your significant other, what would you choose? it was the blackberry! anyways, i didnt want a cover because i thought it was too bulky and looks like something for underwater snorkeling so i decided to order this leopard print decal sticker offline. i thought it was going to be great. it wasnt. i shouild probably take it off because it looks like shit but i want someone to ask how i got a leopard print blackberry. is that gay? anyways........ its been soooo cold out lately! this morning i was walking to my apt in a little dress (might have been from last night..oops) and i was just freezing! i had to zip my jacket all the way up and hug my small frame all the way home. my dad might get a new job in canada. he said the flight is 1 hour away. that would be sick. to go there all the time. for the weekend. just wisked away to canda. my dad just asked me if these earrings were mine. they were little hearts with fake gems that looked like they belonged to the game pretty pretty princess. if they werent mine, id be seriously heartfelt for older women going through a mid life jewlery crisis.
getting this ass in shape... hitting the gym.........

Saturday, September 13, 2008 messages

i joined like three weeks ago. why? i dont fucking know. why does a 20 year old normal girl need to be on it? its not like i just got out of a marriage and im 45 and depressed all the time at home drinking a glass of wine flipping through a bed, bath and beyond catalogue and circling what i want. but i guess i am a currious little kitten and wanted to see what the people were like. did i have intentions of finding my match? no. did i think i was going to meet someone hot? maybe. did i? no. one thing i did get out of it are hilarious messages. hilarious in the way that i find it funny that some old 59 year old guy on the upper west side thinks i would meet him for coffee or even go out to dinner. maybe none of these are funny, and its just mean im making fun of it. but lets just consider it as a social experiement and this was my result:
WARNING: these are all true names of the people. some msgs are long. no pictures were used in the making of this blog........ although i probably should have.

Date Received: September 12
Subject: Girl you are way to HOT to be on a dating site!!!

50-year-old man
Cashiers, NC, US
Seeking: Women 26-46

You are a very cute very sexy young girl! I really can't imagine you have any trouble hooking up with guys after seeing you in that green dress you have nice curves and great legs to compliment that very pretty face!!!!

Your friendly neighborhood 10-S-Pro


From: BC_Jerz77
Date Received: September 11
Subject: well, hello there, mam


25-year-old man
New York, NY, US
Seeking: Women 18-33

hi there. ok, i just signed up for this thing, prior to this point i think i just had "wink" privileges. i guess that's how they suck you into actually shelling out $40 for a month. kinda like how they give out free food at costco and then you eventually end up buying and eating bubba burgers for three weeks straight. i hope this goes over better than my whole bubba burger experience. i think i still have a few lying around in my fridge. yuck city.

i am not really certain how this really works, since as i said i was really not aware that i had no other privileges, thus rendering a freebie membership worthless if you want to have a conversation with words instead of winks. although i bet you could figure out some kinda morse code winking system of talking to someone.

anyways, i have resorted to signing up for this because i have lost all hope in the bar scene, and frankly am getting kind of sick of it. seems like 90% of the time you meet mainly terrible people.

well, i am going to cut myself off before this turns into a 1,000 word admissions essay size letter. here is a little about me, in case you'd care. i am 25, originally from northern nj, used to work for an investment bank (got laid off recently like the other 50% of people in finance, kinda sucky, but i am getting paid to exercise intensely everyday), am in the process of applying for grad school, live uptown (not harlem). interests include: kittens, white fluffy things, the hasselcastle, and yellow mock turtle necks. i am kidding. i really dont know. i like normal things, going out to eat, cycling, the gym, reading, etc.

ok, now i am done with the dissertation. if you wanna get together for a drink or food that'd be lovely. talk to you soon.



From: BelloTuscano
Date Received: September 11
Subject: (none)

32-year-old man
New York, NY, US

Seeking: Women 18-35

Am interested.

More about me am attorney, live alone in my own apartment in NYC (would you be willing to travel to see me?) in Greenwich village on border of Soho, speak Italian and Portuguese (Brazilian as served a volunteer in brazil), have doctorate and finishing another degree at moment (master's in finance/real estate development), about 5'8-9", slim build, Italian American, favorite foods - sushi/chocolate souffle (not at same sitting; just learned how to make souffle from french chef friend actually), last place traveled to was Mexico (for business) and Rome (for pleasure/business) before that. Have to go to Paris next week. Best physical feature that can be said in polite company would be my eyes or smile. Free for Coffee this weekend?

From: mjmwild
Date Received: September 12
Subject: I feel like...


34-year-old man
New York, NY, US

Seeking: Women 23-31 need to eat something. You're gorg, but are you getting enough to eat? ;-)


From: gentlemancaller8
Date Received: September 9


31-year-old man
Wayne, NJ, US
Seeking: Women 20-37

I have to say, your profile was definitely worth the read. I really like your positive outlook on life, the active lifestyle you choose to lead & the confidence you exude. You're also sultry, sexy and you have the face of an angel, intertwined with a classic girl next door aura about you. It certainly proves to be an intriguing dichotomy to say the least. That being said, feel free to drop me a line when you get a chance and we'll chat...

- Dave
From: ralphwaldo2000
Date Received: September 9
Subject: A compliment for a lovely lady

57-year-old man
Great Falls, VA, US
Seeking: Women 21-62

It's a far different experience reading your profile than the norm. Your feet seem so firmly planted on terra firma. You appear to be bright and cheerful and willing to stick your toe into new and exciting waters. I like curiosity in a person, and of course you are just lovely.

I am a cheerful, fit, fun, thoughtful, and emotionally well adjusted man. I take each day on its own merits. There is always something new to discover and a new path to follow wherever it might lead. I am a curious traveler, an innovative cook, a man whose talents are now given to writing fiction and whose favorite physical activities are tennis, hiking, biking, and gardening. Toss in a trip to a museum, the theater opera and you start to get a clear picture of the man behind the keyboard in cyberspace.

There is an age gap between us. However, somehow, a little voice tells me that you march to your own drummer; that you might be someone who is inclined toward living her life a little out of the ordinary box and be interested in developing a friendship with an older man.

So...please do review my profile and if the spirit moves you, I'd love to hear back from you.

Ciao bella,


From: jdaddy08
Date Received: September 13
Subject: US


22-year-old man
Great Notch, NJ, US
Seeking: Women 18-22

Hey how are you doing first off I have to say that you are a gourgous woman. Now my name is Joe and I am 22 years old from Little Falls. I currently work as a boss at an auto auction in Fairfield and I am also going to Bergen. I consider myself to be a very easy going person and I feel that I am motivated with set goals and have a great personality. I also feel that I am a caring and respectable man who is caring and at times can be humorous. First off let me just say that after reading your facts I feel that you are interesting. I consider myself to be a family man where once a family beings to know me and see my personality they will accept me as the new member. I would never cheat on anyone just to let you know that I would be commited to you and that you can trust me. Therefore I am honest and caring. I consider myself to be a very easy going person and I am also up for doing anything. And I would like to take you out to eat or go for a drink to get to know each other if you want to. Please dont be shy to call or text me my number is (973) 789 - 5128 looking foward to hearing from you. THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT I THINK I AM THE MAN THAT YOUR SEARCHING FOR TRY ME OUT.


my phone fell in a puddle

i was just watching a "the fabous life" and it said mariah carey rode on an airplane next to her wedding cake. i think thats really funny. i wonder if she booked a seat for the cake, right next to her. i wonder how she decided who was going to get the window and who was going to get the aisle. so last night, my phone fell in a dirty puddle on the side of the road. it tumbled out of my bag when i was getting out of a taxi around 4am. everybody saw. it was outside the front of a club. i somewhat remmeber someone coming over and commenting on the situation. then, a few of my other things fell into the puddle. a lipgloss, and maybe a pen. i had to fish it out. there was no other choice. as i bent down to get it, i too fell into the puddle. my jeans and top were soaking. i was wrecked! now, it wont work. at first it wouldnt turn on but then it did. it functioned for about 20 minutes. and then it decided to just stop working. it kind of just decided to put a dent in my day of lying in bed and drinking pepsi and eating my bad italian delivery food. bad in the way i just found a clear wire in my raviolis and meatballs. who orders raviolis with meatballs? it doesnt usually go. well, it sucks. it seems like it came from a can. its just very... bland. i dont really like tomato sauce without butter or salt added to it. i also wish i got an extra can of pepsi. i drink it so fast sometimes! coke is great when your hungover, but sometimes you have to settle for pepsi because they dont always have it. i do notice the difference. or, a difference. one time in high school i took the coke/pepsi challenge. i got it wrong. i think if i had the opportunity to try again i would know. now i have to muster up my energy to go to the verizon store. i really dont feel like walking four blocks. call me lazy, but i dont. i dont feel like dealing with all these random people talking to me on the street and standing in line at the verizon store. i just want to sit here in bed and make this meal taste better.

Sunday, July 27, 2008


hey, i havent posted since january. i found these two videos and wanted to post them. the first one is so cute and made me want to cry. the second one makes me want to cry too; both are tears of joy howevere. they're both animal related. a small lion cub and a horse. ok.... enjoy

im ghetto sorry

Monday, January 7, 2008

the hells

i am so fucking over "the hills" i believe i have watched 2-4 episodes in it begining series, and it never really interested me. im not sure how it stayed on the air, but by now its fucking rediculous how its just come to heidi and lauren arguing and making fun of each other every chance they get through media outlets. its just gay and both their boyfriends are tools. that spencer pratt kid looks like the biggest fucking tool ever, and he treats heidi like shit from what i understand. even now that she has fake lips and tits she can do better than losers who are still spiking their hair like its 1997. thats just my opinion!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

im freezing!

it is so cold in my house. my mom always secretly turns the heat down without anyone seeing and then it slowly drops the temperature and you dont even notice until you look down at your arm and see mad goosebumps and you get a rush of coldness through your body and look around for the nearest sweatshirt but is there ever one there? NO. all of the beds at my house have become very uncomfortable. and ive become an insomniac. its impossible for me to fall asleep before 4am. my brother is watching some skateboarding contest on tv and all the guys are so hot. anyways, also eating has become to tedious. just the whole act of thinking of what i want, then getting it, then the time it takes to consume it, and then the time to let it sit in my stomach........ its just so annoying. food just always gets really unattractive to me every few months. i dont know what it is, but it lasts for a few days and then im back in my place in line at the mcdonalds drive through. just a small hiatus. ahhhh im so cold. well im going to miami on saturday. im so excited! i feel like im going for such a short time though :( i just got my nails done today with my mom. manicure and pedicure. they're red. my nails chip really quickly though, usually after one day. but when its all perfect the first day its the best. greg lutzka is cool because he skates in fedoras. its like 2 am and i dont see myself falling asleep anytime in the future and im not sure what to do. i wish i had ambien. maybe i should drink a glass of wine. although i dont really feel like it. tonight i went over to some guys house and was hanging out and these other kids who were there left and then he got really weird and creepy. and kept making weird eye contact with me for long periods of time while smiling and then told me i looked "scrumptious" which really killed it for me at that point, and i was beyond terrified when he walked towards me and unzipped my jacket and tried to proceed to make a move from there... but it was immediately stopped as i backed up and turned to the good old, "wellllllllll im tireeeeeeeeeeeed im going to go" and then he was so annoying and like "lets go inside and watch a movie!" and i was like "uhhh im realy tired..." and then i beat it! safe and sound. never going over there again. i love andy dick. but he does a lotta drugs.
signing off for the night.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

disfunktional xmas

this xmas has been so disfunktional. last night on xmas eve, my family ate without me. i was out shopping and said id be back in 15 minutes and they ate anyways.
then today, all anyone did was aruge, while we were opening presents, and asking for recipts to exchange the gifts for $. all of the presents my mom gave we regifts of things she got for free. then my mom said shes worried to sleep @ night because she thinks my brother is going to kill her.
merry xmas ya filthy animal

Thursday, November 1, 2007

jackie turk

"im going at 1130 to break into the cpmputer building and steeel a pong table with a black stocking on my head"

i hate "friends"

i hate the show "friends" so much! it is the worst show ever. its so annoying and all of the characters are so gay. story lines are based on "poking a naked neighbor with a stick" and sitting around a lame coffee house playing spin the bottle with "gunther"
it also sucks because it follows seinfeld, and who can compete with following up such an amazing show.
the tila tequila show is dumb too. people just watch it because shes hot but none of the contestants are intriguing or interesting.they're losers too.
im so tired from hallloween last night i cant move from bed and its 3:15pm. i was so hungry and i had no food so i ordered a mini chicken parm plate and a caprese salad.. but to have it delivered i needed to order like $10 worth of things so i got four bottles of water and a can of iced tea. the food wasnt good and i waited to long to eat the chick parm meal so the pasta tasted like shit and all the sauce had already been absorbed. that isnt the mark of a good delivery service!
last night this guy took a bunch of pictures at a party and then gave me his website. i went to it today and it didnt even exist.
i have to take a test for my radio show at 6pm today and i dont feel like studying about "EBS"
thank god tomorrows friday! do you think the restraunt fridays is most packed on a friday?
it took me and my roomate 2 hours to go to walmart to try to get our costumes for halloween, which for me was just getting a piece of fabric that cost $1.12 and took 2 hours to get. there was so much traffic, although im unsure why.
my costume was so amazing. i wore an american apparel black leotard with red fishnets and had a purse basket and a hood and i was little red riding hood. on my back someone painted EAT ME. haha
now im wonder what to do but im too tired to do anything and i want to go outside but its rainy. i just realized ive had 2 videos at my house for about 2 weeks and they're new releases which means $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.
my neigbors are so fucking loud. the method of parenting for these kids is the dad in an alcoholic angry rage voice counting, "ONE...TWOO..." id love to see what happens at three. i thinnk when he counts three child services should break down the door and yell "freeze!" or be like "three!" thatd be funny

Monday, October 29, 2007

ummm did jewelery designers run out of ideas?

Penis bone necklace:

Sunday, October 28, 2007

dick in a box

on friday i went to the honolulu academy of arts and there were a bunch of people dressed up in halloween costumes and someone had a box around their waist and it looked like present, so i opened it up to recieve my prize and it was a penis! and then i shut the box and screamed because i was horrified and scared and then i opened it again and said "is that real?" and then it moved.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Just now

JUst now i was walking into the library at school and im wearing my pink Betsey Johnson tanktop that says, "GUYS <3 B.J." and some creepy guy from like Guam goes "you are a very bold woman" and i shouted "IT'S BETSEY JOHNSON! ITS A DESIGNER!" and then i was like 'i hate this about this shirt' and then some old man with long hair smiled. gross!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

some images

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
i miss ny!
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surfer poll awards


$uper ended up coming to the Resorts show wearing all baby blue with a blue fedora with a feather in it.
Last night i went to Next Door 80's night and woke up with a vintage Dior eye patch on my face.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Urban Pacific

Thursday i did a fashion show for LEAH EVANS (
and here are some shots!
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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

her designs are awesome!!! go to

Saturday, October 13, 2007

email from my mom

Your super Pimp story was interesting, but you better not encourage that Pimpster. He could turn crazy eyed killer on you. and don't be burning or popping anything with him. You would be in trouble if you were drinking and passed out in his company. You are not trailer trash!
Seriously chelsea, don't make me worry about you all the time.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Your friendly neighborhood Super Pimp

There's this guy who lives upstairs in my complex who strikingly resembles what a "moder day pimp" should look like. Alligator skin booties, nice dress shirts and stunner shades in the evenings; fitteds and matching jumpsuits in the daytime. And ALWAYS rockin that gericurl.

So me and my roomate just got back from the beach and we're walking into our house when he pops up out of nowhere and says to me, "ya'll pop X?" Then he gave us a pill and goes, "why dont'ch'a'll try that out fo' free 'n tell me what'ch'a'll think..." then he left. We locked the door and hysterically laughed.

Later that evening, around 9pm he popped up again when I got off work.
SUPER: "Ya'll look nice...where you commin from?"
ME: "I just got off work."
SUPER: "hmmmmmmmmmm..........."
ME: "Um... are you a pimp?"
SUPER: "hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...."
ME: "Wanna burn one?"
SUPER: "i'll be ova in a lil bit......."

He came over an hour later freshly showered, but was sweating up a storm. I gave him a paper towel, a glass of water, and we put the fan on him. He also requested we open the window. I cracked it.

ME: "Are you a pimp?"
SUPER: "....yes."
ME: "I knew it!!"
SUPER: "You and me, i think we could make a real good team. I'll buy you whatever you want. I deal wit all dem niggas.... two $hort, jada, jack nicholson...."
ME: "I want a Dior Purse!"
SUPER: "Yeh, i'll get you that. Get allllllllllllll the purses you want. Even get you a baby Jag or a baby Benz. i'll buy you condos aaaaaaaaaaalllllllllll over the, vegas... be gettin you those Minks too, keepin yoou warm"
ME: "But it's too hot for a mink here..."
SUPER: "But ya'll said you was from Ny."
ME: "Where are you from?"
SUPER: "Memphis."
ME: "Why are you called Super?"
SUPER: "Because i'm the SuperBowl pimp"

Sunday, October 7, 2007

this isnt a yacht party!!

last night i went on what i thought was going to be an amazing yacht party, but turned out to be a nauseating, marine involved, gross keg beer-kind of experience. we were invited from some girl from UH and on the ride there, i had a strange feeling and asked, "are the guys who invited you in the...military?" "yes!" she replied. i immediately squeezed my roomates arm as a look of fear grew over our faces.. nooooooooooooo!!! we arrived and there was a good amount of pple i knew which was ok, but the beer was gross, the people were lame and the boat would not stop rocking!!! it was making me so nauseous i couldnt stand it and wouldnt shut up about how bad it was. i got the first ride back to land and was sound asleep in my ac by 2 am....
boats blow

Saturday, October 6, 2007

panda bear cries

sounds like me