Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Your friendly neighborhood Super Pimp

There's this guy who lives upstairs in my complex who strikingly resembles what a "moder day pimp" should look like. Alligator skin booties, nice dress shirts and stunner shades in the evenings; fitteds and matching jumpsuits in the daytime. And ALWAYS rockin that gericurl.

So me and my roomate just got back from the beach and we're walking into our house when he pops up out of nowhere and says to me, "ya'll pop X?" Then he gave us a pill and goes, "why dont'ch'a'll try that out fo' free 'n tell me what'ch'a'll think..." then he left. We locked the door and hysterically laughed.

Later that evening, around 9pm he popped up again when I got off work.
SUPER: "Ya'll look nice...where you commin from?"
ME: "I just got off work."
SUPER: "hmmmmmmmmmm..........."
ME: "Um... are you a pimp?"
SUPER: "hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...."
ME: "Wanna burn one?"
SUPER: "i'll be ova in a lil bit......."

He came over an hour later freshly showered, but was sweating up a storm. I gave him a paper towel, a glass of water, and we put the fan on him. He also requested we open the window. I cracked it.

ME: "Are you a pimp?"
SUPER: "....yes."
ME: "I knew it!!"
SUPER: "You and me, i think we could make a real good team. I'll buy you whatever you want. I deal wit all dem niggas.... two $hort, jada, jack nicholson...."
ME: "I want a Dior Purse!"
SUPER: "Yeh, i'll get you that. Get allllllllllllll the purses you want. Even get you a baby Jag or a baby Benz. i'll buy you condos aaaaaaaaaaalllllllllll over the, vegas... be gettin you those Minks too, keepin yoou warm"
ME: "But it's too hot for a mink here..."
SUPER: "But ya'll said you was from Ny."
ME: "Where are you from?"
SUPER: "Memphis."
ME: "Why are you called Super?"
SUPER: "Because i'm the SuperBowl pimp"

No comments: